U2 Concert, Beer Queues, & Other

  I think that any member of our dear Government would have been quite at home in the beer queue at the U2 concert,... considering all the queue jumping going on. After all, cutting the queue to get contract hand outs, or forcing people of the road in your convoy of black cars, or trying to avoid waiting for your blue beer token, comes down to the same thing; you obviously need to be somewhere urgently. I can relate to that given that during our two hour train trip to the U2 concert I needed the use of the toilet. I can relate to the urgency and angst the builds up, with no toilet in sight, so just remind yourself when you see the convoy of cars, that their’s a politician inside who needs a wee-wee.

   One might also argue that jumping queues is the African way. Unfortunately no one had explained this to the Guatemalan lady accompanying us. No one had told her that jumping the queue is actually an old South African tradition, and that the people who do it are actually not bad people just maybe previously disadvantaged and not educated in the ways of the world. I mean it seemed obvious to me that the six foot five, built like the moon from a small planet, rip your head off with his pinkie guy who jumped the queue, was previously disadvantaged, and did not have the advantage of knowing the wrath of an angry Guatemalan lady, who promptly blinded him with her SureFire - six times brighter than the sun -  torch, which she keeps handy for such occasions. This left him to wander around blindly while we quickly collected our blue tokens and tried to look inconspicuous by the time he regained his sight.

  Having  negotiated the blue token queue we where now graciously allowed admittance to the beer pavilion. Then, having secured the fruits of our long wait we made our way up into the stands, where we had the rare privilege of listening to some South African rock while we slowly sipped our lukewarm Heineken – oh the joy - and the Springbok Nude Girls introduced us to some of their new material, which from where we were seated sounded vaguely like music and a lot like Swiss yodelling through a broken chainsaw, except their leather pants where tighter and there where no alps – oh the joy.

  The U2 concert was awesome, perhaps the best memory for me will be of 100, 000 people singing: “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”. I’m not sure if the band or the crowd appreciated the irony of this, given that while the song was playing I couldn’t hear the band over the crowd.

(  Bono with a happy look on his face look across to the Edge)

Bono – This is awesome, to be sure. Just listen to them singing Edge.

Edge (looking up frowning,) – Aye, but I wonder if this is a subtle hint.

Bono – Why, do you think they expect another band?

Edge– Aye, maybe they want the “Buck Naked Girls Band” again.

Adam Clayton – Nekid Girls! Where?

Larry Mullen jr.– The previous band ya moron.  I think it’s just the lack of beer. I hear the queues were pure madness.

Adam – Hmmm.... playing the bass is hard work, I could do with a pint,  maybe I could nip out for a pint while the crowd finishes the song ... and find those girls.

Bono – I already tried that mate, but they ran out of blue tokens.

Adam Clayton – You need tokens for the girls here in South Africa?

Well Anyway, As I said the concert was great, even if the train ride home took three hours and I only got to bed at four, but I have to say there is something to be said for small intimate venues. We recently saw Dan Patlansky playing at Cafe Barcelona, and I really enjoyed the gig: awesome guitar playing, great emotion and I got to drink cold beer. Which is more than I can say for the U2 gig and cold beer goes a long way, in my book anyway, towards making events enjoyable. In fact, it almost places both events on an even footing.

 I hear that the Neil Diamond show was pretty awesome, I would be interested to hear what people thought of it. Anway catch you later cheers...